This is my first real blog post! Welcome.

I’m not sure if my other posts will be so serious or commentary-ish, but I want to write about why I decided to start my blog.

Truthfully, the internet has become tedious to use. I say this, not because I am viewing the internet I grew up using through rose colored glasses, but, rather, because the parts of the web I engage with nowadays are designed to prey on my emotions and numb my curiosity.

The internet is not a place to be authentic anymore. Nobody on my personal socials wants to hear about my crippling smartphone addiction, how I think it has affected me negatively, and why I am moving to the indie web.

But, here I can do that! ( •̀ᴗ•́ )و ̑̑

This video from Technology Connections on YouTube describes a phenomenon called “Algorithmic Complacency.” I would recommend watching the entire video, but the first 10 minutes lay a foundation for the points I want to make in this blog post:

After hearing Alec’s take on this, I felt convicted. Upon reflection, I realized that I have become too comfortable letting algorithms decide what I should be seeing.

Social media networks are excellent at showing users posts that keep them engaged, keeping them obsessed with their phones. What keeps users engaged is not necessarily what they want to see, more’s the pity.

In 2021, news broke that Meta rewarded Facebook posts that users reacted to with “angry” emoticons with an algorithmic promotion, since users were more likely to interact with them. Supposedly, Facebook has quit this practice, but interaction bait is still prevalent on other platforms (and, it seems like it still is on Facebook, too… but that’s neither here nor there.) Recently, an X user shared the ins-and-outs of the network’s algorithm, which included similar guidelines for promoting provocative, rage-inducing content (and punishing users who were immune to its spell):

 

(Note: You should read the whole thread! This user consistently updates it.)

In real life, anger is an uncontrollable emotion. But, online, angry users behave predictably. They comment, sometimes arguing for hours on end with others. They share posts that enrage them with their friends, who also get angry. Then their friends comment, and then they share… and the cycle keeps going. Not only does this make it convenient for fake news, fear mongering, and misleading information to spread, but it also can have drastic effects on users’ mental health. Users who are prone to addiction, anxiety, or compulsive habits are especially likely to develop social media fixation. Even for neurotypical, happy netizens, the content pushed thanks to these engagement-driven initiatives can be troubling.

The internet I once knew, and loved:

Before I even learned to read, I used the internet. I loved sites like GirlsGoGames, Stardoll, and Disney Create. (Off-topic, but I feel like I am the only one who remembers Disney Create. I have been trying to remember what it was called for years, and just spent way too long Googling so that I could find it on the Wayback Machine. If you never used it, you missed out.)

I acknowledge that, by 2011-2014, the years I was most active online, social media already existed. It already had its share of problems. However, I was not allowed to use social networks until I was 18 (with the exception of TikTok, which I was allowed to download at 16)—thanks, Mom & Dad! Much of the toxicity widespread on social networking sites might as well have existed on another planet; I was distant from it. I spent my time online curating an experience I wanted to have. I played games I enjoyed, read about topics I found interesting, and made art that I was happy with. I downloaded TikTok in late 2019, just months before the COVID-19 pandemic began. In retrospect, this is where the phenomenon of “algorithmic complacency” began its grasp on my psyche.

To be honest, I thought TikTok was boring. I might sound like I am trying to paint myself as different and quirky, and I am not. I truly didn’t understand why people lipsyncing was supposed to be so entertaining. Before the algorithm learned what kept me engaged, I forced myself to scroll. Because, well, all my friends used it. I knew my For You feed would keep me entertained, or at least occupied when I had time to kill. Furthermore, I felt it made me cooler, in some sense. It was nice to wear what was on trend and make jokes that were topical.

When the pandemic began, TikTok was a place of refuge. It was a nice escape from the chaos of the outside world, and it gave me the chance to connect with other people my age, something I was barred from doing in real life. Prior to this point, I used to spend hours every week reading, crafting, and journaling. Over the past six years, these hours have dwindled. Gradually, I began to feel uncreative, lazy.

At some point in the pandemic, I would spend a whopping 12 hours on my phone per day, on average. Scrolling took up a significant part of my day. Every once in a while, I would see something funny, or I would find a DIY project that I was inspired to try. This was, unfortunately, rare. Much of the content shown to me was negative in nature—dealing with heavy topics such as racism, sexism, or homophobia. If a video wasn’t negative, the comments would be.

Upon seeing this kind of negativity, I couldn’t look away. I prioritized scrolling, which I hated. I constantly read heated arguments between other online users, which I also hated. The internet became a means to allow negative emotions to fester inside of me. Curating my own online experience was a thing of the past; I was yoked to algorithmic manipulation.

At this point, I am just mansplaining what doomscrolling is… so I’ll assume you get the picture.

“I am dragged along by a strange new force. Desire and reason are pulling in different directions. I see the right way and approve it, but follow the wrong.”

― Ovid, Metamorphoses

It’s a miserable existence, isn’t it? To be made to seek fulfillment from a non-human string of code? A computer program will never know what it is like to laugh until your stomach hurts, or be inspired, or read a good book. Yet, even today, I am guilty of looking to my phone whenever I feel unfulfilled. Then, I feel empty when it doesn’t satisfy me.

I want to start anew. I want to, once again, use the internet that I fell in love with as a child. My website is a place where I intend connect to the web in a way that is authentic and true to who I am. I want to create a page that looks beautiful (I have already spent hours on it!) and talk about things I love.

Here, I’d like to post about topics such as linguistics and anthropology, as well as my day-to-day life. I also want to share my thoughts on books, video games, and other media I consume. I’ll have a separate blog where I will write in Japanese as well. (The Japanese blog is not live yet, but when I finish setting it up, you will find it on my homepage.)

Can’t wait to write more! So, welcome! I hope all who stumble upon this page enjoy getting to know the real, authentic Arriana.